Take No Prisoners

Tag Archives: Riley’s Rants

Letter to Heath Campbell

Dear Herr Campbell, I thought I would send you this letter, letting you know my thoughts and considerations on the matter of your son, one Adolf Hitler Campbell (we will get to your daughters JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn later). I read the news story about the cake you were so unjustly denied, simply because […]

Proof Americans Spend Too Damn Much Time Entertaining Themselves

If you needed it, some evidence that Americans just spend too much of their time trying to keep idle minds occupied with mindless entertainment just hit the news stands today. A number of news sources reported on what most people saw as an amusing story about congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen hanging up on President-elect Barack Obama […]

More Logical Fallacies Used to Bullshit America

Last week, I took a look at some of the common logical fallacies I see a lot in the American media – be it through advertising or politics – which are used to mislead folks like us. Unfortunately, the list of fallacies is sickeningly long, and it didn’t fit in just one post, so here’s […]

Common Logical Fallacies Used to Bullshit America

Let’s face it: Americans are about the easiest people on Earth to brainwash. Now, I like to think the War on Bullshit readers are above-average thinkers, but if the intellect of the general populace is any indication, I could probably convince the majority of our American readers that it would be a good idea to strip naked, […]

America elects a black president… and racism still lives

Memorandum Date: Nov. 4, 2008 To: The World From: America Subject: Racism No Longer Exists Look out, world! America has grown up. That’s right. In case your third-rate newspapers skimmed over it, America elected its first black president. Or… part black president. Or maybe he’s a Muslim. I also heard that he once went to […]

More Proof Fundamentalists Can’t Read

As if it was needed, here’s a little more proof that the overly-religious are more prone to idiocy than other demographics. I don’t think it’s news to anyone that Wall Street is a mess right now; indeed, the nation and world are keeping a close eye on what is going on with the world’s economies. Well, one […]

5 Reasons to Build a Bunker

Since I assume most of the War on Bullshit readers (Warriors on Bullshit?) are at least fairly literate, I’m going to further assume you, like me, have always thought conservatives with bunkers are fucking nuts. Hey, it’s an easy assumption to make. They wear tin foil hats, have 300 guns, and probably engage in incest. […]

Three Reasons Santa is More Plausible than God

At the risk of starting a theme for this week’s war, I’m going to take a slightly different approach from Kavan on atheism. It’s no secret that I think belief in God is among the top ten biggest signs you might be retarded. Isn’t it strange, though, that’s nobody questions people’s disbelief in Santa? Any […]

Myth Busted: Violence Can Solve Problems

Have you ever found yourself in a waiting room, and you spot the inevitable rack of brochures full of bullshit? Well, I think I’ve tracked down the biggest gem of them all: Mad Attitude?! Violence Gets You Nowhere! This brochure is based entirely on the old adage that violence doesn’t solve anything. While this sounds […]

Lesson Learned: When There’s a Hurricane, Get the F^%& Out

Here’s a bullshit statement if I ever heard one: don’t worry about it, I can weather the storm. My friend’s father recently tried to use this to justify staying and defending his home from the onslaught of Gustav. For those of you living in a cave, Hurricanes Gustav and Ike recently slammed into the Gulf Coast, […]