Many people have been led to believe that freedom is good and lack of freedom is bad; that the world can be divided into free societies and oppressed societies; that any limits to freedoms, be they through taxes, laws or regulations on corporations or individuals, are inherently evil. Let’s explore some of these, shall we?

I want the freedom to…

believe whatever I like
lock up crazy people

say whatever I like
incite hate against women, muslims, jews, blacks, hispanics, gays and anyone else I don’t like

hire whoever I want
be judged for a job based on my qualifications, not my skin color

keep my private life private
know whatever I feel like knowing about everyone else

live without fear of violence
buy as many guns as I want

smoke and drink if I feel like it
lock up crackheads and potheads

smoke in bars, airports and restaurants
keep second hand smoke away from my asthmatic kid

drive a hummer
breath clean air

educate my children however I want
not be held responsible if I can’t control my kid

eat whatever I want
not pay for the medical care of fat people

market my products and innovations in the most effective way possible
not be lied to by salespeople

vote for whoever I want
have my country lead by the best possible leader

live wherever I like
keep people I don’t like out of my neighborhood

live by my values
prosecute people who live by different values

marry whoever I want
share a husband with other wives

Freedom is a relationship between a person, an action, and a government. You are free to do X if your government has not made X illegal. Freedom of speech is good. Freedom to buy slaves is bad. This constant rhetoric about “threats to freedom” and “free societies” is complete nonsense. The so-called clash of civilizations is a confrontation between the people who think human rights are bullshit, and the people who think only Americans are human. They’re both wrong. They’re both criminal.

Now, mainstream media, please stop oversimplifying the nuanced value-system conflict between western and arab cultures into a dual straw-man about freedom and not freedom.