Take No Prisoners

McCain thinks the Iraq war is Noble? NOBLE?

This week John McCain called the war in Iraq a “noble cause.” Noble? NOBLE?!?!

Let me get this straight:

1. The CIA helps Saddam Hussein take over Iraq, starting in 1963.
2. The CIA creates Al Qaeda to give the Russians trouble in Afghanistan.
3. The US spearheaded the United Nations effort to contain Iraq through embargoes, impoverishing the populace and slowly eroding Iraq’s infrastructure.
4. Through the UN, the United States pressures Iraq about their military, Iraq cooperates and dismantles all their rockets, missiles, antiaircraft guns and basically anything they can use to fight a modern war.
5. A bunch of guys from Saudi Arabia fly planes into the World Trade Center.
6. The Bush administration lets Al Qaeda go.
7. Instead, the Bush administration fabricates evidence of nuclear weapons in Iraq to distract a public that can’t tell the difference between Iraqi and Saudi Arabian terrorists. Nevermind the hypocrisy of a country with nuclear weapons telling another country not to develop nuclear weapons.
8. The United States declares an unprovoked war on Iraq, a sovereign nation that has committed no act of war.
9. Since Iraq dismantled most of its military trying to cooperate with the United Nations, it is incapable of fighting back and is quickly conquered.
10. The Bush administration then brands anyone who resists them in Iraq “terrorists and other extremists,” denies them prisoner of war status, tortures them and leaves them to rot, without trial, in George Bush’s floating S&M Dungeon*.
11. Meanwhile, the leaders of Al Qaeda are laughing their asses off in a palace in Saudi Arabia somewhere. (Osama bin Laden is a senior citizen on dialysis. He is not hiding in a cave in Afghanistan. This is another lie.)
12. John McCain calls the Iraq war a “noble cause.”

Invading and conquering a country that has not attacked you and has endeavored to cooperate with your ever less reasonable demands, is not honorable or noble, it’s unpatriotic, cowardly, evil, reprehensible and Hitler-esque. Fuck you John McCain.

*thanks to John Oliver for this phrase.