Take No Prisoners

Dear Seal Hunt Protesters: Shut the F*** Up.

That’s it. I can’t take it anymore. Every year there’s a fresh outcry about the seal hunt. And every year the same old bullshit arguments get dragged up.

1st Bullshit Argument: The seal hunt is barbaric.

There are four approved methods of slaughtering livestock in the US:

1. asphyxiation (you know, take away their oxygen)
2. Captive Bolt (i.e., whack ’em in the head to knock the animal unconscious before you slice and dice it)
3. Gunshot to the head
4. Electrical (the black wire is positive, the red wire is negative).

How exactly is having your skull smashed by a club any more “barbaric” then any of these? I understand if you’re a vegetarian, and you’re against the slaughter of any animal, but if you’ve had a burger in the past year, you can shut the fuck up right now.

2nd Bullshit Argument: It’s wrong to kill animals for their fur

Well first off, people eat seal. Just because YOU don’t eat seal, doesn’t mean there isn’t a market for seal meat. Second, if you’re mad about fur, take it up with fashion designers and the people who wear the fur and leave the seal hunters out of it. And if you own any fur, you can definitely shut the fuck up.

3rd Bullshit Argument: They’re Killing BABIES!!!

No, they aren’t. That’s illegal. But the animal rights groups have been feeding you a pack of lies about seal pups being slaughtered. But you ever wonder why there are so many chickens and so few roosters? What exactly do you think happens to the male chicks? Think blender. So if you’ve had eggs in the last year, you can shut the fuck up.

Conclusion

Let me why there is such outcry about the seal hunt:
1) Seals are cute
2) Blood on snow looks dramatic
3) People have come to believe that their food comes from factories.

I’ve got news for you. If it’s good to eat, it used to be alive, and someone killed it. That’s how nature works. Up until the day they die, seals live a normal life. That’s more than you can say for the dairy cow, who spends its life locked in a cell with some of its tits hacked off so it fits the milking machine, or the steer that has it nuts lopped off so its meat will be a little more tender.

If you have a problem with the seal hunt, why don’t you wag your finger at yourself first, leave ruining someone else’s livelihood for tomorrow.

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