Take No Prisoners

It’s not Commitment that Men are Afraid of

Recently, several of my female friends have been complaining that their significant others are afraid of commitment. Men are not afraid of commitment — well, a few are, but mostly “commitment” is not the real hang-up. So ladies, he here’s what he’s really afraid of:

1. You will stop wanting sex with him, then

2. You will stop having sex with him

3. You will get fat

4. You will stop wanting to go out and have fun

5. You will throw out, or make him get rid of, his favorite shirt, chair, porno, etc.

6. You will ignore him to spend time with the kids, because

7. You will love the kids more than him

8. You will stop getting all dressed, just for him

9. You will become crotchety and bitchy

10. You will stop taking care of yourself

11. You will start ordering him around

12. You will blame everything on him

13. You will try to change him

14. You will make him (explicitly or implicitly) stop hanging out with the guys

15. You will start buying your underwear at Walmart

16. You will stop having sex with him (did I mention that already?)

And why is it that men are afraid of these things? Look around. If you live in North America or Britain at least, you won’t have to look very hard for your answer.